This past weekend, Kyle and I went to New York City for a romantic getaway. Well, that’s not 100% true.

We went because I was asked to sign books at BookCon. My publisher flew me out and put me in a fun little hotel in the Garment District, so we just tacked on an extra flight for Kyle, asked my parents pretty please could you hang with the grandkids for a few days, and headed out.

This wasn’t our first weekend away, but it’s the first in a long while. And boy howdy, was it good.

Here’s a few things I remembered about quick weekends away with the one you love:

1. Pack super light. You’re only gone for the weekend—that’s hardly any time. Enough casual clothes for most of the time, plus pajamas and one dress/outfit for going out. Done. You’ll have so much more fun not thinking about the stuff you brought.

2. Wear comfortable shoes. Whether you’ll walk around the whole time (hi, Manhattan) or veg with a book in a guesthouse backyard, there’s zero reason to wear on your feet anything but comfy.

3. Don’t try to “see it all.” You won’t anyway, so just pick a few things and savor them slowly.

4. Plan for leisurely meals—they don’t have to be fancy. The best conversations happen over food, so don’t rush them. We spent hours one lunch plotting parts of a book idea Kyle has for me.

5. Talk about the kids. But then move on, and talk about you. Talk about how you’re doing individually and in your work, and talk about your relationship.

6. Don’t force deep. If you don’t have Big Important Things to talk about, don’t invent them. Enjoy talking about the silly and mundane, like when you were dating.

7. Bring cards, or a card game. We’ve had many a date in our marriage playing a game at a coffee shop. Cheap and fun. It’s fun on weekend getaways, too.

8. Wander. Leave time to explore, be it on foot, public transport, or in a car. Don’t have an agenda—look around at shops, trees, whatever.

9. Stay up and/or sleep in. Especially if you have kids. It’ll feel foreign, but it’ll be fun. Walk around at night, then ‘airplane mode’ your phone before bed so your body wakes up whenever it wants.

10. Don’t wait too long to plan the next one. I’m thinking we need to make this past weekend an annual thing for us.